


Red Hot Hate

by Communist_jones



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: All the movies, Angst, Avengers Family, Drunkenness, F/M, Feelings, Gen, Guilt, M/M, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, throughout the years
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 06:02:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29484912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Communist_jones/pseuds/Communist_jones
Summary: Steve hated Pepper, not anything about her specifically more what she symbolized, everything he couldn't have.
Relationships: Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, barely there Bucky/Steve
Kudos: 22





	Red Hot Hate

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story about Steve feeling feelings for Tony and Tony not feeling them back. Goes from original avengers to Avengers Endgame. Probably out of character but hey we tried. Any feedback is always appreciated! :)

Steve hated Pepper. He hated her. And really that was quite unfair to the woman. It wasn't really through any fault of her own that Steve hated her. Tony Stark just happened to fall for her. Well it never really happened like that did it. No one just happens to fall for someone. But it really seemed like they weren't meant for each other. They were always at odds with one another. Always wanting different things, always arguing with each other. 

Although that's not really a valid criticism is it. Because well, if Steve and Tony were to get together would it really be all that different? Steve was completely different from Tony, he'd probably drag Tony down just as much as Pepper did. So Steve couldn't really stew in righteous justice on behalf of the fact that Pepper just wasn't right for Tony. Because the truth was he wanted to take Pepper's place, and he wasn't right for Tony either. Maybe no one was 'right' for Tony. 

Steve would just have to find some other reason, or maybe he didn't need one. 

The first time Steve met Tony he'd been not so impressed. The man was arrogant and over confident. All Steve could see was his father before him with none of the good intentions Howard had had. Steve had butted heads with Tony at first. They were constantly at each other's throats, scepter or no. Steve had just wanted to knock the man down a few pegs, looking back he doubted that Tony had needed it, the man was not so self confident as he showed himself. 

Then of course Steve actually got to know Tony. Fighting along side someone always led to a bond of sorts even with those you didn't like. Putting your life, even partially in someone else's hands was always bound to have some sort of effect on a relationship. When Tony fell out of the wormhole and safely landed, Steve couldn't even describe the bone deep relief he felt. It was from that moment he realized that he had misjudged the man. Tony was not the selfish billionaire Steve thought he was, despite the illusions Tony might try and put up to the rest of the world. The whole team ate shawarma together and Steve spent the whole meal watching Tony out of the corner of his eye. 

Steve met Pepper that very same day. After they had finished the fight all the avengers went back to Stark tower to rest, organize search and rescue, and deal with Loki and the scepter. They were all together planning who would go where to look for survivors when a tall blonde woman had come up in the elevator. She ran over to Tony, heals clicking, and hugged him. Tony hugged back.

"Oh thank god you're okay," She stepped back looking at Tony. Tony looked back down at her with something Steve couldn't quite place in his eyes.

"Please, as if you could get rid of me that easily," Tony smiled, maybe the first real smile Steve had seen him smile. "You won't be running off with my fortune that easily Miss Potts," Pepper scoffed and hit Tony on the shoulder. Then they began to talk shop. Where they would send supplies to, who to call about delayment of company happenings, what the next PR move would be. After a while Steve blocked it all out, but he couldn't ignore the hot burning feeling in the bottom of his stomach. He didn't like Pepper from the moment he saw her, but he hadn't grown to hate her just yet. 

All the avengers spent months living out of the tower to help the continuous rebuilding efforts in New York. Steve felt a little guilty about thinking back on it as one of the best parts of his life, despite it being born out of the tragedy of the invasion of New York. In this time where they all lived together and worked together, almost domestically, Steve began to get to actually know Tony Stark. He saw how hard the man worked to do everything in his power to help. How he always put others before himself despite seeming to come off as selfish and arrogant. Steve wondered how everyone thought that the man was such a monster when anyone who looked could see just how hard the man was working to make the world better. Of course Steve wasn't oblivious to Tony's flaws, he doubted he could be oblivious even if he tried, Tony seemed to seek out conflict and arguments like a month to flame. And yet they never seemed to hold any significance or lasting effect. Steve wondered if Tony even realized how much his words hurt people. Steve could remember having screaming matches with Tony where the brunette would tell him he was just a plastic toy for the world to project whatever onto him, an empty shell just carted off to the next cause. Steve could remember crying those nights in the privacy of his room. And yet the next day Tony would act as if nothing happened as if he hadn't stuck a knife in old wounds and twisted it. And yet Steve was still fascinated by him and everything about him.

As the work in New York dwindled down, the avengers began to spend more time in the tower simply resting. Tony would go down to his lab to work on whatever project he was engrossed in at the time. As time passed Steve would wander down to simply sit in Tony's presence. Sometimes Steve would draw or work but most of the time he just watched Tony. If Tony was uncomfortable with this he never made any comment about it. He just let Steve watch him. Steve didn't realize how much he needed this, to be with people. He'd always had Bucky and the loneliness of being a man out of time had gotten to him. And here comes Tony. Wonderful Tony. With an unforgiving personality and no respect for him at all. Really it was only a matter of time for Steve to fall.

Tony and Steve also talked in the lab. About any and everything. They still got into arguments, still poked at decade old wounds on each other, but Tony never locked him out of the workshop. And Steve, well Steve felt so relieved to have someone who didn't watch what they said around him, who wasn't a spy knowing his every thought, or a citizen in awe. Tony treated him like he wasn't Captain America and Steve craved it. 

So when Pepper came back from Malibu, well Steve was a little ruffled. After the first couple of weeks after New York Pepper had headed back to Malibu to take care of Stark Industries business, leaving Tony to take care of New York. But now, months later with the cleanup being put carefully in the hands of the New York City officials, she came back. They had been in the workshop simply sitting in each others company when the elevator dinged to signal someone arriving. Steve heard the clicking of heels and watched as Tony's whole face lit up in a way it only did around her. He could feel a knot in his throat as he watched the two hug and give each other a peck on the lips. But then, but then Pepper opened her mouth and started talking. Talking about Tony coming back to Malibu, about taking a break, about clearing things up with company officials down there, about seeing Happy again. Steve tried to keep from puking. No. Tony couldn't just leave. Tony was the only normal part of his life that wasn't a secret spy psychoanalyzing everything he did. Steve shook the thoughts off. Tony could do whatever he wanted, Tony didn't owe Steve anything. Tony and Pepper didn't even seem to realize that Steve was still in the room with them, they were so wrapped up with each other. 

Tony packed up and left the next day, simply leaving instructions not to destroy the place while he was gone. And Steve hated Pepper. Steve still had Natasha and Captain America so he went to SHIELD. Anything to get his mind off Tony. Natasha didn't seem surprised that he showed up on their doorstep looking for something to do. Steve told Natasha about Tony leaving with Pepper and Natasha only looked a bit sympathetic. 

"Sorry Steve, I don't think Tony can think of anything besides Pepper when she's in the room," Steve took the hidden meaning. He needed to get over Tony, he didn't have a chance. And Steve tried he really did. He threw himself into his work. He wanted to break everything in his room when he found out on the news that Tony had retired from being Iron Man. Luckily a quite big distraction came up, one Bucky Barnes. The man had shown up back from the dead and Steve was thoroughly distracted from Tony. Who better to distract you from your new love than your old love? SHIELD fell, hydra revealed and Bucky disappeared again. Steve couldn't help but feel intensely frustrated. With SHIELD gone and nowhere to go, Steve moved back into the avengers tower, everything just as it had been left, no one had done much here since they all left to go their separate ways. 

Natasha moved back into the tower with him and Clint ran off to who knows where. Steve was in a bit of a depression. He stayed in his room for days. Barely eating, barely sleeping, just staring at the ceiling and asking JARVIS for status reports on Bucky. Apparently while Steve was stewing Nat had been working on getting the team back together, SHIELD's demise had left a hole in national defense. She managed to convince Bruce to move back into the tower and that seemed to summon Tony back to New York. The men began to work together on projects and Steve perked up at the chance to see Tony again. When Tony came back Steve could feel his heart lift up. The man had walked into the communal floor with a thousand dollar suit and sunglasses on, with a smirk on his face. Steve had never been so glad to see him. Steve took to being with Tony as much as he could without seeming suspicious. He was lighter when Tony was around, the world seemed to weigh Steve down less when Tony was around and Tony wasn't even trying. 

Tony had offhandedly mentioned at some point that he and Pepper had broken up, that he couldn't give up Iron Man like she wanted him to. Steve had felt like he was floating for days afterward. He even considered telling Tony how he felt, maybe asking Tony to go with him romantically. Steve knew that Tony was interested in men, he'd seen old papers. He was plucking up courage and planning just how to tell Tony, when one night Tony got drunk. Steve had never seen Tony drunk. Steve vaguely knew that Tony had had a bad past with alcohol but he hadn't really known till this moment. Tony had stumbled down to the communal floor when Steve and Natasha had been sitting on the couch, her drinking tea and him reading. Steve looked up at the elevator to see Tony brambling along barefoot and top three shirt buttons undone. His eyes were unfocused and hair wild. Steve had never seen Tony like this before. Tony seemed to realize that they were over there and quickly tried to make his way towards them. He fell halfway through and Steve almost got up to check on him, but Tony recovered quickly, and made his way to sit between them on the couch. 

Tony hiccupped, "G-guess what-t Cap," Tony slurred looking up at Steve with half-lidded eyes. Steve's brow furrowed. 

"Are you drunk Tony," Natasha rolled her eyes, of course he was drunk, that much was obvious. Tony balked.

"Thas not-t an answer-" Tony looked around like he was looking for something before turning back to Steve. Steve sighed, this was bad, if Tony was regressing back into an old habit like this, things couldn't be good. Did he miss something?

"Today is my anniversary!" Tony smiled big and looked around before frowning and looking down. He hiccupped. "O-of course me and-and Pepper aren't together anymore though," Tony looked down again and Steve could see tears well up in his eyes. Steve frowned. "She-she doesn't love me anymore, prolly, hic, never did," Steve could see the tears just barely held back now. Steve could feel his stomach drop down to feet. All thoughts, even vaguely, of telling Tony about his feelings were gone. Tony was still deeply in love with Pepper. Steve was frozen. Natasha took this as a cue to lead a drunken Tony up to his room and put him to bed. Steve sat frozen, how could he have been so oblivious? Tony obviously didn't love him back, who was he kidding. The frozen feeling in his heart was at odds with the burning red hot hate in his throat for Pepper. 

Natasha had come back to the communal floor and patted Steve on the back with understanding. Steve wondered if he was so see-through to everyone or just to Natasha. 

Then Ultron happened and everything was blown to shit. Steve blamed it on Pepper because that was easier than blaming it on Tony. Pepper was the reason Tony was so unstable. Steve knew it was unfair to blame it on Pepper, he just didn't care. Steve could see the regret and deep-self hate in Tony's eyes after the fact. Tony seemed to avoid them all out of shame for the mess he and Bruce had made. Eventually Steve's anger at the danger the world had been put in grew cold and he just wished that Tony would come back and stop avoiding them all. 

When Tony recommended the accords Steve knew it was out of self-hate. Tony no longer trusted himself. He had already screwed up once. Maybe they did need policing. Steve couldn't believe that Tony wanted to put them at risk like this though. Steve tried to see it from Tony's perspective, he really did, but did Tony really want another SHIELD-hydra situation? Tony just needed to learn to trust himself again and then he would realize that the Accords were wrong. But Tony never did realize he was wrong. In fact for once their arguing did actually mean something. The one time Steve wished it hadn't. Tony fought him, actually fought him. Steve felt the betrayal deep in his bones. He knew that the feeling was all backwards, Tony was the one who had the right to be angry at him for keeping secrets. He could feel the way that Tony looked at him with pure hate in his eyes when his parents' killer was revealed. Steve didn't blame him, but god he wished Tony's hate didn't cut him so deep. Maybe that's why he chose Bucky over Tony, because he knew that Tony would never really forgive him, he knew he had screwed it up too badly this time. He didn't even know why he didn't tell Tony, looking back it would have been better. But well Steve had just never wanted to ruin Tony's day anymore with bad news. And so Steve ran away from his mistakes. 

Steve didn't see Tony for a long time after he left him in Siberia. Steve had went into hiding. Both metaphorically and physically. Steve missed Tony deep in his soul, but well he'd ruined it. Steve wanted to say it was worth it, but well Bucky, he wasn't the man he was in the 30s. Steve didn't regret saving him, but he did regret the way he went about it. Steve wished for a call from Tony just about everyday but it never came. 

One day the phone did ring however. Steve had answered immediately, seeing as the damn thing was always in his pocket no matter what. But much to his disappointment it was Bruce, Bruce with bad news. Thanos was after them and Tony was off in space alone with the enemy. Steve felt like his heart was being squeezed of all his blood. Steve wanted to look for Tony he really did, but then Vision got attacked and then Wakanda was attacked and suddenly they had lost, and everything was snapped away. 

Steve had waited in agony, wondering if Tony had been snapped away. They had really lost. Both his loves were gone. When Steve saw the spaceship hit the compound's landing pad, and Tony walk out. Steve ran to him and gathered the man up. Tony seemed to spread warmth through Steve's entire body. And then the look on Tony's face as he told him he lost the kid. All that warmth left. Tony left his arms to go to Pepper. His fiancé. Tony didn't look back. Steve tried hard not to let hate seep into his veins. It didn't work. The logic telling him he should be happy for the two of them did nothing to will away the burning fire in the veins. 

Tony lashed out at Steve has he often did. He didn't accompany them to kill Thanos. It felt wrong with him not being there. But even if Tony had been there it would have been wrong. There was no point, the stones and half of everything was gone. 

Tony and Pepper got married. They got better, they moved on. Steve didn't. Steve tried not to resent them and their perfect life. He should be happy for them, no he was happy for them. That didn't stop the ugly feeling of jealousy from settling in the back of his throat though. Guilt along with it now, since he should be over Tony at this point, he doubted they were even friends anymore. Steve hadn't even met Tony's child. 

When Lang showed up at their doorstep with a possible fix, a second chance for Steve. Of course they went to Tony, of course they had to try. Steve wanted to hate Tony for refusing but how could he? In Tony's spot would he have done any different? No. And then well Tony proved himself to be a good person as he always did again and again. Tony risked it all to bring everyone back. The time heist was on and it felt just like old times. Steve loathed himself for being glad to spend time with Tony again even if it meant they were all in danger. 

And then it all came crashing down. Tony died. Sacrificed himself. And when Tony looked at Pepper and Steve could see the utter peace in his eyes, well Steve's hate for Pepper went cold. 


End file.
